Do you feel guilty for not giving your child a Dad? Does the divorce make you feel that you have let your child down? If you are a single mother, fret not. There are many other women out there who are single mothers too. You can raise a child without his or her father as long as you make an effort to be a loving parent at home.
Positive Love Strategies
Children thrive on love and care. It is crucial for you to monitor your emotions, accept your child’s feelings and to see things from your kid’s perspective. Keep yourself emotionally healthy so that you can remain the loving and caring parent that your child needs. Consider using empathic limit-setting at home with your child (as long as he or she understands it) instead of punishment.
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Be Honest and Open
It is beneficial to you and your child if you can remain honest and open with him or her. When your kid asks a question, answer it as honestly and open as you can. It is especially vital when he or she asks you questions about “Daddy”. You do not have to react negatively to the questions, but instead, give them an honest answer and say “I will try to find out” if you have no answer to the questions.
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You can be both “Man” and “Woman”
Humans are adaptable beings, and being a single mom means that you double up as “dad” and “mom”. It doesn’t make things easier, but take heart that you are doing the best that you can for your child. It is challenging for a mom to talk to your son about “men stuff”, but a deep bond with your child would promote openness from your son to speak with you about his issues.
Surround Yourself With Family and Friends
Not having a dad does not mean that your son or daughter cannot have a male role model in their lives. An uncle, a grandfather or a close male friend can be the role model that they need. The only thing to watch out for is to make sure that the male role model does not take advantage of your child.
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Be Kind To Yourself
As a single mother, you need to work to provide for your child. It is also stressful for you to manage household chores, monitor your child’s school progress and stay attentive at work. Therefore, you need to remain kind to yourself and stop judging if you are doing enough. Know that you are doing your best and allow yourself to take time off each day to bond with your child. Having meals together and enjoying some downtime are great ways to bond.
Communication Is Key
Be attentive to your child when he or she is talking to you. If you can, put down whatever you are doing to listen. Your ability to pay attention displays your willingness to put your child above all, and he or she will feel the love that comes from that.
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Be Sensitive To Their Insecurity
Finally, be sensitive to their fears and insecurity. This is especially crucial when you start dating again. Be sure to wait until you have established a close relationship with the new partner before introducing him to your child. After the initial meeting, allow your child plenty of time to get to know him, and answer questions that he or she may have regarding your new partner.